“Most marriages don’t fail all at once.
They fade slowly — through distance, silence, and unattended losses.”
Marriage isn’t just about the wedding vows we once made.
It’s about the daily foundations we continue — or forget — to build.
After major life events like health challenges, loss of loved ones, or just the simple passage of time, many couples find themselves asking:
“Are we still truly connected?”
If you’ve just taken the quick Marriage Self-Assessment Survey, you’re taking an important first step toward understanding where you and your partner stand.
Confidentiality and Trust
First, know this:
Your privacy matters.
No emails were collected, no individual answers are stored, and no results are publicly visible.
This exercise is purely for your personal reflection and growth.
How to Assess Your Score
Here’s what your total score may suggest:
| Score Range | Meaning |
|---|---|
| 50–60 | You have strong foundations. Continue nurturing communication, affection, and flexibility together. |
| 40–49 | Your marriage is generally strong but could benefit from renewed focus on shared goals, emotional intimacy, or affection. |
| 30–39 | Warning signs are present. It’s time for honest conversations and intentional rebuilding. |
| Below 30 | Critical zone. This suggests major disconnection — but also a powerful opportunity for repair and renewal if both partners are willing. |
Important:
Scores are just a starting point.
What matters most is what you do next — not a number on a page.
Understanding the Core Constructs
Each survey question reflects an essential building block of a strong marriage:
- Emotional Connection
- Shared Meaning
- Mutual Respect
- Intimacy and Affection
- Effective Communication
- Resilience Together
- Flexibility and Growth
- Friendship
- Trust and Safety
- Gratitude and Admiration
What does a strong and nurturing marriage look like? Draw me a picture!
Emotional Connection
Feeling emotionally “seen,” “heard,” and “understood” by your partner.
It’s sensing that your emotions — joy, sadness, fear — matter to them.
Imagine being able to show your real self without fear of judgment.
Shared Meaning
Building a life where values, dreams, and goals overlap.
It’s not agreeing on everything, but creating common ground: family, faith, lifestyle, or future visions.
Think of it as co-authoring a story you both believe in.
Mutual Respect
Recognizing and honoring each other’s dignity, differences, and worth.
Even when you disagree, you treat each other with kindness, not contempt.
Picture admiration and courtesy as default settings — not earned only when things go well.
Intimacy and Affection
Small, consistent expressions of love — physical touch, words, gestures.
This includes sex, but also hugs, holding hands, kisses, smiles, and checking in emotionally.
It’s the tender glue that keeps couples feeling close through all seasons.
Effective Communication
Sharing thoughts, needs, and emotions openly and respectfully.
It’s listening without interrupting, speaking without attacking, and repairing after misunderstandings.
Imagine conversations where the goal is connection, not winning.
Resilience Together
Facing life’s hardships as a team rather than as individuals.
Whether it’s illness, loss, setbacks, or parenting struggles — you adapt and persevere together.
Think of it like a ship: storms come, but both sailors stay at the wheel.
Flexibility and Growth
Allowing each person — and the relationship — to change over time.
What mattered at 25 may not be the same at 50.
Healthy couples adjust expectations, support dreams, and evolve with life’s seasons.
Friendship
Liking each other’s company, laughing together, sharing interests or silly jokes.
It’s being partners and buddies — not just managing life logistics and finances.
Friendship makes relationships feel lighter, safer, and more fun over the long haul.
Trust and Safety
Feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically safe with your partner.
You can be vulnerable without fear of betrayal, ridicule, or attack.
Trust is built in thousands of small moments where you show up reliably.
Gratitude and Admiration
Regularly noticing and appreciating your partner’s efforts, strengths, and qualities.
It’s saying “thank you” for the little things and remembering why you chose them.
Picture love like a garden: gratitude is the daily watering that keeps it alive.
Healthy marriages continually revisit these themes — especially after life changes.
What You Can Do Next
If your survey revealed strengths — celebrate them!
If it revealed struggles — don’t panic.
Here are some next steps you might consider:
✅ Schedule an intentional conversation — not about problems, but about hopes and feelings.
✅ Rebuild small rituals of connection — short walks, check-ins, small acts of kindness.
✅ Consider professional guidance — even one or two counseling sessions can re-open doors.
✅ Focus on friendship first — shared laughter and curiosity often rekindle deeper intimacy naturally.
🧠 Remember:
A great marriage isn’t free of hardships.
It’s one where you choose each other — even through the hardships.
Final Reflection
Marriage, like life itself, changes over time.
It’s not meant to stay the same.
It’s meant to grow, deepen, stretch, and sometimes heal.
🌳 Visual Summary:
A thriving tree, deeply rooted in Trust and Safety,
growing a solid Emotional Connection trunk,
branching into Shared Meaning, Friendship, and Resilience,
nourished by Communication, Respect, and Flexibility,
blossoming into Affection and Gratitude.
If today’s survey helped you see something clearly, even something painful, that’s not failure — that’s an invitation.
You still have the choice to shape the next chapter.
📢 Closing CTA:
Want deeper strategies for rebuilding connection, communication, and trust?
Read the original article relationships:
“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives” ➔ (link optional if you want to add a second post)